Moving On
by queeka
Summary: A month after his mothers death, the Chris and the family visits the grave. RR ..First fanfic..


**Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed and all the characters. They all belong to Brad Kern**

**Authors note: Hello all this is my very first fanfic... So be nice please. I hope you all enjoy it!**

**Queeka**

Chris got out of the car, trailing after his family, as he slowly made his way to the graveyard. The weather was dark and gloomy and seemed to have matched the somber mood. It had rained a couple of hours ago, Chris observed, as he continued down the path, his heart filling with dread as he took each step excruciatingly slow. He looked up ahead to see his father's shoulders slumped, the once proud man who believed he could take on anything, now looked totally lost; while his brother tried to be strong and keep his emotions in check and for that Chris looked up to him. Chris was never exceptionally close to his father, as Wyatt, his brother had been. Chris loved his father with all his heart, but he always felt that his father compared him to his brother, the twice blessed child. He remembered that whenever he would try to confront his mother with these doubts, she would always make up some sort of an excuse for his father.

Chris just stood there in one spot reminiscing about the talks his mother and he would share and how he had always been branded as a 'mama's boy.' He snorted at that thought and was suddenly pulled back to reality as he felt someone tugging his shirt and looked up into the eyes of his Aunt Paige. Her eyes had a sort of haunted touch to them and he could see that she hated coming here as much as he had. "Chris…" she whispered as she pulled him towards her in a big hug as if trying to say 'I m here for you.' Chris closed his eyes reluctant to fall into her embrace and tried to put on a brave face, but eventually he gave in and could feel tears stinging his eyes as he tried to get a hold of his emotions. After a few minutes she let go and hurriedly walked towards the family, Chris straggling behind her.

Chris continued down the path and could see his family gathered around the grave, and felt his knees go weak at the thought that she was down there, alone and cold. What he wouldn't give to have her back here with him. He felt his heart clenched as he saw the grief-stricken faces of his family. Even after a month of her death he still couldn't fathom the fact that she was gone. Chris diverted his gaze towards the tombstone and was flooded with memories of his first day of high school when she was crying because her 'baby' was growing up, his first date, the first time she caught sneaking back in drunk and being grounded the very next day for being irresponsible. He also remembered that every Saturday would be their day, where they would bake cookies and just talk to each other. Then the bad memories came, the demons attacking them , her taking the energy ball which was meant to him , him trying to heal her then calling out to his father and brother for help and then finally her dying leaving him weeping on the floor for hours until his aunt came and found them . Overwhelmed by the memories Chris dropped to his knees, tears threatening to spill, and cursed her. He hated her for abandoning him and finally he couldn't take it anymore, he let go of all his emotions and sobbed.

Chris was faintly aware of his Aunt Phoebe rubbing his back speaking words of comfort as if trying to ease the pain. He could hear his Aunt whisper "Let it out Chris, just let it out" into his ear. After awhile she helped him up, Chris felt emotionally drained. He had never cried this much, not even at her funeral, but now he knew that he has moved on, not entirely, but he has accepted the fact that she would no longer be in his life. As he stood up and looked into the concerned faces of his relatives Chris felt guilt building up in the pit of his stomach. He hated being the center of attention and people pitying him. He just wanted to be left alone. His relatives, noticing this, decided to leave him alone so that he could pay his respects.

Slowly Chris reached into his pocket and pulled out a white lily, and placed it near the tombstone. He had made his decision, today he wasn't going to hold anything back. He looked directly at the tombstone and started whispering "Hey mom, how's it hanging? We're doing alright. Dad's okay and Wyatt is fine trying to be a tough guy and take it like a man but fine nonetheless. Aunt Phoebe is as crazy as ever, she won't stop cleaning the house and you know how she hates housework and Aunt Paige is… is just there." Chris tried to laugh through the tears but found that he couldn't and continued to speak. "Mom I lied… We're doing terrible… Dad mopes all day, Wyatt secretly cries in the night and well the aunts are trying their best, but let's face it they aren't doing a great job and me well I'm the worst one. I really miss you mum, I don't know what to do anymore, and well what I wanted to say is that, I...I love you mum, I love you so much that it hurts to even think that your not here." As Chris said this, he did nothing to wipe away the tears that were streaming down his face. Finally Chris got up and looked towards the sky and whispered for the last time "I love you" and then he walked away towards the car, leaving his family behind for them to pay their respects.

As Chris walked down the path leading to the car ,he could feel the hint of rain as the first drop hit his shoulder, and soon it was pouring of rain like it had a couple of hours ago. Chris just stood there motionless, his face blank. He was scared to go back home because he knew if he did, it meant that he truly accepted that she was really gone from their lives forever, and he didn't want that. Some part of him knew that if he was to come back to the grave he would realize that she was gone while the other part of him hoped that this was just a very bad dream, and that he would wake up, and continue to find her cooking in the kitchen, calling his name. But he knew that this wasn't a dream but a reality. He had always heard someone saying that 'life was cruel,' but he never believed it, and now it was as if someone had opened his eyes to show him just how cruel life can get.

Deep in thought, Chris didn't notice his family returning until they were right behind him, this brought him back to reality, as he felt his brother pat his back and give him a watery smile. Chris tried to smile back but couldn't. The drive back to the house was a quiet one, in which everyone was contemplating their thoughts. Chris didn't know when they reached the house, as he was too wrapped up in his own thoughts, but when they did Chris could feel his heart drop, as he looked at the house he grew up in and a wave of sadness washed over him.

Chris made his way into the house and without saying a word to anyone, walked straight into her room. Everything was just the way she left it. Nothing was out of order. He went towards the bed and slipped under the covers. The pillows and covers still had the aroma of her scent, thinking of this, Chris fell asleep still wishing she was there with him.

Chris awoke to the sound of his Aunt calling him. He lifted his head and looked around the room and immediately recognized where he was. He slowly got out of bed and walked towards the door. As soon as he walked out he turned around and took one last look around the room, and before closing the door he whispered the one word he had dreaded saying all day "Goodbye…"

Chris made his way down the stairs and into the dining room, where he saw his whole family sitting at the dining table. There were two empty spots, one would be filled by him but the other would never be filled, he thought sadly. "Hey, Chris come on and eat before the food gets cold. We ordered Chinese because your Aunt burnt the food!" his father exclaimed which earned him a quiet chuckle from Chris and a glare from Phoebe. "I can't help it if the instructions were bad!" his Aunt retaliated; Chris tried to fight the smile playing his lips as he took his seat. "Aunt Phoebe you can't even boil water, stick to what you know best and that's gossip" said Wyatt with a snort. This caused everyone around the table to burst out laughing including his Aunt.

Chris looked around the table at his family conversing with each other acting as if everything would be alright, and immediately knew that they would make it through this ordeal, and for the first time since his mother's death, Chris smiled.

**The End**


End file.
